


I Am a Friend. I Am a Betrayer. I Am an Actress

by Dreamillusions



Series: I am a snake. I am a human. I am an assassin. [4]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Bloodlust, Character Death, Depression, Dreams and Nightmares, Grieving, Horror, Memories, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pain, Rage, Tentacles, mentions of aguri yukimura, mentions of yanagisawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6910765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamillusions/pseuds/Dreamillusions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>side story number three for the series 'i am a snake. i am a human. i am an assassin'<br/>kayano's point of view between chapter 25 and 26</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am a Friend. I Am a Betrayer. I Am an Actress

**Author's Note:**

> so since i got stuck while writing my Supernatural to Natural 14th chapter, i decided that it's high time to write Kae... uh, Kayano's pov (i'm so used to writing kaede i forget that in canon she is kayano, tehe?)
> 
> also wasn't sure when exactly the civil war happened so i made up the date to january 5th.
> 
> big thanks to the one who helps me so greatly in this fic, Griewer!
> 
> don't own assassination classroom, matsui-sensei does
> 
> as always, please review and all this crap.
> 
> love you guys.
> 
> enjoy! ^^
> 
> p.s. ANYONE WHO DIDN'T READ MY OTHER STORIES, GO READ 'SUPERNATURAL TO NATURAL' FOR RECOVERY PURPOSES. ALSO READ MY OTHER STORIES AND REVIEW A LOT! LOVE YOU GUYS!

_Set between chapter 25 and chapter 26_

"Come on, Kaede-chan, please speak to us," Kurahashi and Okuda stood in front of the desk of the greenette, noting the black roots popping out of the scalp, a reminder of her previous act. The girl addressed didn't reply, simply staring at the desk with empty eyes.

"Kaede-chan, you have been like this for two weeks already," Kurahashi tried again, "We all grieving Nagisa and Koro-sensei, but we can't throw their sacrifice away and become empty."

Kayano didn't answer, but her shoulders did hunch up a bit at Nagisa's name.

"Leave her be," Nakamura interrupted the two girls. Kurahashi turned to her, lips quivering but eyes narrow.

"Why?"

"Because she needs time," Nakamura deflated a bit, "She loves Nagisa and... he was ripped from her the same way Yukimura-sensei and Koro-sensei did."

That had shut the orange haired girl up. Tears collected in her dull peridot green eyes and the girl looked down, Okuda rubbing her arm in a soothing way. "It's okay, Hinano-san. Kaede-san is strong. She'll come back to us when she is ready."

"... Alright..." Kurahashi gave up and she was pulled gently away from the greenette's desk. Nakamura and Okuda exchanged looks and glanced at Kayano, eyes filled with sorrow as they realized the girl didn't react to anything they had said.

How deep is she in her mind that she can't hear them?

* * *

_"Good morning, Kayano." A boy whom upper face she can't see greeted her with a wave, a smile stretched over his lips._

_"Good morning, XXX," Huh? What was his name again? Was he her classmate? Why is her heart hurting?_

_"So ready for another assassination?" The boy said, taking out a notebook which contents she knows by heart, "I'm heading with Sugino later to try using his baseball pitching."_

_"But isn't a baseball slower than a bullet?" She asked in interest, wondering why to resort to such desperate means so early in the year. Her nape gave a flare of pain and she masked her winch immediately. Thankfully, the boy didn't seem to notice and simply shrugged._

_"A baseball is quiet and won't alert Koro-sensei when he's engrossed in his readings. I took note of that already."_

_"That's pretty amazing, how you note all those things that seem trivial but are actually very helpful," She clasped her hands, putting her cheery voice on. He smiled back and nodded._

_"Thank you, Kayano. We kind of know it won't work, but it's worth the try."_

_"Good luck, then!" She said but the boy was suddenly fazing in and out as if he was a glitch in a television. She blinked then found herself standing in front of a huge pudding, hands on her hips and legs slightly spread apart, pride swelling in her chest._

_"That looks really good," The boy appeared again, chuckling a bit at her bright expression, "Too bad Koro-sensei is going to eat it."_

_"Eat it... wait, No!" She suddenly exclaimed in horror, "I want to eat it!"_

_The boy sweatdropped, but then he glitched again and she had found herself holding a cool ball with a yellow face in it. She looked up to see the boy in different clothes and holding a knife, facing the detestable former-teacher. His face was still hidden but she could see two bright blue spots where the eyes should be, the lights from the heliport coloring them toxic green. She shivered, her tentacles reacting to the pure bloodlust pouring from the boy._

_He was beautiful. He was terrifying. And his name was so near. She could almost taste it._

_The background glitched again to a hospital room and she realized that she was lying on the bed with the boy standing next to her, smiling brightly in relief and her heart thumped a few times at the sight. She climbed down the bed and_ _reached out to the still brightly smiling boy. She was just about to touch him but then was yanked back by something familiar. She looked back in fury, finding black tentacles wrapped around her arms, middle and legs. She struggled and tried reaching to the boy again, eyes widening when she realized that his face cleared up and blue hair was cascading in waves ending in the hateful black tendrils spreading over the white background as if swallowing the world._

_"XXX!" She screamed, ripping the tentacles off and trying to run to the boy his name was on the tip of her tongue, "NXXX!"_

_The boy looked up, black slowly receding to reveal the white of his eye and the blue of his pupil, and she knew._

_"Nagisa!" She spread her arms and circled them around him, stumbling down when his body dissipated into dust, light washing over her as she roared his name, tentacles erupting from behind and swallowing her body._

_"NAGISA!"_

* * *

Her eyes snapped open and the scream was cut off with a hand clamping over her mouth. She turned onto her side and fought the bile coming up her throat, eyes burning with salted tears.

"Nagisa..." She muttered, sobs wrecking her body as she curled on her bed. She knew already that no one would come knocking because of her screams since she was living alone in a small house she had paid from her acting money. At first it was a good decision since she needed a place where no one would call the police hearing her anguished screams from the pain of her tentacles. But now... Her sobs grew louder - she wanted someone to notice. She wanted _Nagisa_ to notice. She wanted him to come and tell her that everything was a bad dream. That they can come next morning and plan Koro-sensei's next assassination plan. That his last memories of her weren't her writhing on the ground because of him. That she could still stand by his side. That she could feel his warmth again.

How she wanted to feel his warmth again.

She missed him so much and she felt like a big hole had been sucked into being in her chest. It hurt worse than her revenge. It hurt worse than her tentacles. It hurt as worse as the moment she had seen her sister lying there, motionless and peaceful...

_Just like Nagisa._

She felt like someone punched her and screamed in anguish.

Those dreadful tentacles took Aguri-neesan. Those parasites took Nagisa. Those cursed things took Koro-sensei.

This wretched man took everything from her.

 _Yanagisawa..._ She growled in her mind, hands gripping the sheets and wrinkling them as her body shook from the force of the bloodlust bubbling in her being.

Oh, how she wanted to go to the man and gauge his eye out, to rip him apart and behead him with her bare hands. She wanted to soak in his blood and insides. To know that she took everything from him; his knowledge, his research, his life.

She wanted revenge.

A loud shrill made her jolt and take out a real knife she took to carrying around since Nagisa's abduction, throwing it at the source of the noise. The shrills stopped in a alarming ping and finally her eyes cleared up to see her alarm clock stuck to the wall with her knife, pieces falling down and clattering on the wooden desk. She blinked and looked besides the alarm clock to see the calendar and was surprised to see that it was February 4th; exactly two months since the whole nightmare had begun, she wanted to laugh at the irony but then realized a worse fact.

It has been already two weeks since... since Nagisa...

What happened to those two weeks? She fell back to the bed and took deep breaths, recalling flashes of monochrome moments in the class and the funeral. Their teachers worrying over them and the scientist joining their faculty.

Was she... living those two weeks without noticing? How long was her nightmare going for? How long was she stuck replaying the memories with Nagisa?

Her breaths became shorter as panic settled in. What happened? Did something happen to make her snap from her nightmare? Is another of her classmates in danger?

Her hand fumbled to the phone and suddenly a familiar voice echoed in her ears. "Good morning, Kaede-chan, it's good to see you reacting again."

"R-Ritsu!?" Kayano exclaimed. She forced her suddenly weak body onto her knees and grabbed the phone, turning it on to see the AI's face on it, still wearing her funeral clothes.

"Good morning, Kaede-chan. Do you feel better?" Ritsu asked, her voice as usual. Kayano nodded and forced herself to stand up and stumble towards the door, hair covering half her sight and reminding her of her persona.

Reminding her of her first day with Nagisa.

_She took two hairbands and styled the blue hair into twin pigtails, just like hers. "See, now we're the same."_

_Blue eyes looked at her in gratitude and she smiled, mentally smirking at the snake she could see peering from his shoulder. She is going to hide in this boy's bloodlust and make herself invisible to the monster they call teacher. She will get her revenge for Aguri-neesan._

He used to be just a tool to extract her revenge from, hidden as a side character until the right time. But then she did carry out her plan and he rushed in to save her. Despite knowing she was acting the entire year. Despite knowing that he never knew her properly. He didn't give up on her.

_"I refuse to believe that this entire year with us was an act!"_

A sob escaped her lips and she leaned onto the door frame, clutching her phone to her chest. "I'm so sorry."

"Kaede-chan, from what I had recorded and analysed, nothing could have prevented what happened unless you have an ability to see the future, which I wasn't informed of then," Ritsu said calmly. For some reason, it made the greenette feel a bit better.

"Thank you, Ritsu..." She smiled faintly, the action seeming foreign to her for some reason, "I should get ready for school. I can't let Nagisa down a third time. I will live the life he gave me even if I still miss him."

Tears splashed on the floor, smearing when her feet landed on them. She trembled, walking but barely seeing where she is going.

She is going to live, but she'll never move on. She won't ever forget the hole inside her. She won't ever be able to fill it and she doesn't know if she wants to fill it. It's the last thing she has from them after all.

"I have made a video with all the pictures and clips of Nagisa and Koro-sensei," Ritsu told her, "If you ever want to watch them, Megu-chan said to come over since she doesn't want to watch this alone."

Kayano nodded, reminded that she wasn't alone.

She isn't alone. She still has the others to fall on. To grieve with. She can get better with them.

Thank you for not giving up on me even when I didn't deserve it, Nagisa... Koro-sensei... I will treasure this life and will do everything you won't be able to do anymore.

_"So do you ever think of the future?" Nagisa asked her once. She blinked and tilted her head._

_"Like, which high-school to go or what job to aim for?" He shook his head._

_"That also, but I was wondering what kind of a person you want to be when you're older?" Kayano stared at him and then smiled widely, some of it slowly becoming genuinely._

_"Well, I want to..._

Become a person who you can be proud of, Nagisa..."

I love you, Nagisa.

Goodbye.


End file.
